Knowing and me

Between the act of acquiring and transmitting knowledge lies a paradox. The more we learn the lesser we pass down. It is much easier to understand than it ever is to teach. There is also a certain tendency in the will that prevents us from deeper contemplation. In other words, our will seems to prevent us from pursuing knowledge on a matter, although the desire for knowledge is inherent in the heart.

To me, the process of contemplation involves a painful resistance against the fallen will. Once connected to the emotions, this resistance can become very emotionally driven. At a point, it would seem as if all is better than to seek the answers that we truly desire. A strong clinging to opinion and a lack of openness can also become obstacles that leave us in a state of complacency. Sometimes, we may feel inferior and start to assume that it is simply beyond our 'level'. This may lead to a certain plateau of false satisfaction, a belief that the perpetual thirst is quenched. If this is my condition, I would start to believe that what I know is enough and I can survive with this. While survival may be possible, such thought makes me evade my call, which is to be more than a mere survivor. Ocassionally, a fear of being misled can also cause resistance in acquiring knowledge. We do not want to be misled, and therefore, we stay within the premises of our limited understanding, thinking we are actually safe where we stand.

To many of us, acquiring knowledge is separated from contemplation (reflection) and introspection. Our knowledge is simply a reservoir of information that is separate from our being. Thus, what we know does not influence our actions. It is like as if I am viewing the picture of my existence as a person who sees a painting. No matter how critically I view the painting, I don't see myself in it. Therefore, I would never practice what I preach. This could sometimes lead to a form of 'self-righteousness'. I will never take my own advice because I simply don't see myself making those mistakes. In other words, I am totally unable to put myself in the shoes of others because of a false superiority that is inherent in me. In such cases, the only way I can grow is by being humble enough to see the faults of others as my own. All knowledge is useless unless it is assumed by the human person and put into works.

The motive of learning is also a point to be reflected on. Why do we want to know? Is it so that I may sound smart in front of my peers? Is it to command respect from those around me? Is it a cover for my low self-esteem? Or is it simply because I am pushed to do so? The question I often ask myself is why do I need to know? The answer that I most often desire (but sometimes struggle to stick with) is that I want to know because I love to know. In my opinion, the best motive to acquire knowledge of any sort is simply the love of knowledge itself. I want to know because I love knowing. I want to know because I was created with a capacity to know, and thus, it is only natural for me to continuously contemplate. As such, knowledge translates into wisdom. However, there are times when I struggle to keep my motives right and thus, I begin to 'know' for all the wrong reasons.

Along with knowing comes a strong urge to share what we know. To me, this is an even greater challenge as compared to knowing itself. I would love to share what I know with the ones I love. However, it is sometimes difficult to articulate the message in a way that is acceptable and welcomed. To be able to transmit knowledge in itself is an amazing gift. When doing this, one must keep in mind the motive of his action as well as the openness and maturity of the listener. When we share knowledge, the sole purpose of the sharing must be to enable the listener to understand. At times, there is the temptation of making the sharing a mere display of our intellectual ability.If such is the case, the goal is never met, and the knowledge that is to be shared would be trapped in isolation within the one who knows. Thus, humility is always a must in sharing knowledge. We must continuously remind ourselves that we are always students even when we teach, for learning is a lifelong pilgrimage. It is also important that I am open to learning even when I am teaching. Love is the main motive of sharing something we know. Otherwise, knowledge can become bitter and resentful, leading to strong opinion against it. Being gracious is thus the key for proper transmission of knowledge.